Money is the cause of my unhappiness.
I know Satan is for real because for over two decades I chased the dream of being a recognized writer, and being paid to write short stories. It wasn't until three years ago when I stopped chasing the rainbow and learned not to hate myself for not being able to attain the goals I set that I came to like writing again, after hating writing for several years prior, also I learned to like myself as friends told me they noticed a radical change in my personality when I stopped chasing the money, and wrote for the enjoyment again.
With the Lord's help I came to realize that giving is the the source of happiness, not seeking money; that is why I am writing on my blog not trying to sell any e-books from now on.
The photo on the post is the same as the cover on my last e-book because it is one I took several years ago, on my way to King's Lynn in Norfolk. King's Lynn also featured in one of my lesser known ghost stories (What happened there?)
A hard road to walk.
Over my years as a writer, I have been challenged to stop writing about the bad, and focus on the right things, in my life. I did try to do this, but when you're at the bottom of the barrel and all you see is the bottom it's hard to believe there is a way out of the gloom.
People have suggested several times to me that I am bipolar as I have violent mood swings; it isn't that I am bipolar, it is that I learned to take the maximum joy out of the slightest bit of happiness I find. Life has taught me that each time I see the light at the end of the tunnel of gloom, it is just the roof caving in and burying me deeper.
I am happy today, it is January, it is cold outside, but at least it isn't raining. I realize this means little but as I said I take joy in the small things in life.
When you are struggling to sell stories that take weeks to write, and you see people you know are not as good at writing - according to other people - as you are getting mass sales because they have money to get promotion for their books it is hard to see the light of your value.
At the start of the year, I seriously considered why I am continuing to write when nothing is selling, and I came to the inevitable conclusion; I paid for the Grammarly editing software, and the Weebly blog so while they are paid for I may as well use them.
No more dreams left.
I want to thank Draft2Digital for their assistance in the last five years, but as sales have dropped to nil over the last year the time came to call it a day, and stop attempting to sell my e-books in a world choked with e-books.
This day would have come a lot earlier if it wasn't for the sales on Draft2Digital as Amazon proved useless as a sales market for my work.
I decided not to bring more e-books out after God Walks These Dark Hills. For the money I earn I won't be losing a lot, the blog gets over 25 times as many readers a day than I sell e-books in a month.
My decision is in no way indicative of the services provided, just that the readers would rather read a FREE blog than pay to keep me writing.
I am not doing any more e-books.
Last year, I earned so little by selling my e-books that I decided to stop putting them for sale from now on, the only place to read my work will in future be on my blog.
I get less than $0.50 a month from Amazon, and it has taken me almost a year to get the $10 minimum to get paid by Draft2Digital; it's plain to me that you are happy to read my FREE blog, but have no intention of helping me by buying my e-books so I can feel I have some value as a writer.
Christian Fiction writer.
I find myself continually amazed by my success, even if it is small, with my e-books, but the item which would astound me the most is if I had some degree of success as a writer of Christian fiction.
Something else that would amaze me, if not people who have read my stories, is if I got my latest story published by malcolmdown.co.uk/titles.html, this would enable the book to be seen by readers on www.eden.co.uk/christian-books/.
My success would be no surprise to some of the people who have read my writing for years, but then again, I always underestimated my ability as a writer, even in the glory days of my Science Fiction series.
I get asked if there are sequels planned for A Homecoming and God Walks These Dark Hills, or if I plan to extend Ghosts don't dance?
I could write the sequels if I thought they would get read on here as I am not bringing any e-books out after God Walks. The sequel to A Homecoming is almost complete - I never considered a sequel to God Walks, only because I thought there would be no interest in the story. As for Ghosts don't dance, I had considered extending the short story several times, again it would depend on the sales for the book to convince me to go ahead.
Reality is a bitter pill; years ago, I had the trait of planning a sequel to a story as I wrote the first story, in the end, I realized people didn't like my work enough to pay less than the price of a cup of coffee for more than a months work. These days, I rarely think beyond one story.
On sale less than a week and already selling well.
It is pleasing to see my Christian fiction e-book selling; after less than a month on sale it has already sold twice on Amazon Kindle.
It won't be a surprise to some of my friends, but it is to me, to see my Christian short stories selling, last years' Amazon bestseller for me is the romance Aliyah which I set in Israel.
If i can get some more e-book sales, I could be tempted to write a sequel to God Walks These Dark Hills - www.amazon.com/dp/B07MHDBP78 and www.draft2digital.com/book/402152.
Until last year, I had not written any Christian based stories because I thought it would be a hard genre to sell in these days of a Godless world where religion is used to cover the crime of terrorism for many people.
It is pleasing to see my ghost stories selling as this genre was the one where I earned my early reputation for writing good stories.
Most of my ghost stories are not written to scare the readers; they are more about souls trapped after death and seeking a way to pass on to the other side, I am not saying I haven't written scary stories; some even scared me, and I knew what was happening.
I don't know if I'd have got paid again.
My earnings from writing last year are so little. If it wasn't making over $4 in November, I doubt Draft2Digital would have paid me until May.
The sale I needed.
I finally got the one sale for my e-books on Draft2Digital that I needed to get paid for the first time since April, and the book which sold was NOT Forgestriker.
Though Draft2Digital have expanded in the last two years by buying various sales channels, it made no change to my sales as I still only sell on Barnes & Noble.
Though I got the sale I thought I need, it would appear my sales are so low that I could have to wait until June to reach the $10 minimum to get some royalty payments.