A need for calm
One of the many reasons I have not been able to write a lot in the last two years is the amount of distractions my life has had with endless appointments and interviews.
To write, I need a calm mind and my mind has been anything but that in the last two years.
So many tabs are open.
Somebody posted an image on Facebook some time ago, the message said "A writer's mind is like a laptop with all the tabs running."
There has never been more true words written, even though I don't do a lot of writing, I have many ideas for stories that I could have written.
Ten years after.
When I started my blog a decade ago I used to write three or four blogs a day, now I find it hard to do two or three.
That is why I said a few days ago that one post would be my last post
I sit in my room looking out of my window like the James Stewart character in the film Rear Window, as I watch the tracks of the planes crisscrossing the sky I do not feel jealous that I cannot travel these days.
I put this down to having flown to Canada twice, and despite having a wandering soul, I never thought of travel beyond the UK as there is a lot here I would have liked to have seen.
I have no idea.
I have tried to find a time when I started to believe in spirituality, but I failed. I think it began in my early years as I was born near the sea, and have always had an affinity with the seas.
I had a resurgence in the late 1970's when I saw Billy Graham preach in Bristol. I later joined the Royal Air Force and became almost a counselor for my friends. This lead my Padre and my section Sergeant sent me on a course, at the time I thought it was because I was going through a deep personal crisis, over time I came to consider they could have seen something in me that I failed to see in my despair.
On leaving the RAF, I returned to my parent's house in Clevedon, North Somerset and started to go church again. I got on well with the local vicar and his family, though I liked his daughters I never considered asking them out, I knew they were out of my league.
It was during this time I came across the writings of a Dutch Jewish lady called Corrie ten Boom. Like Anne Frank she was forced to hide in a loft, only to be turned in a loft, only to be betrayed and captured.
It really isn't worth going on
I tried my best, but with so many people blogging these days it is a thankless and worthless task. On a good day the blog gets 50 readers.
With that little interest, you can understand the trouble I have in trying to entertain you.
If nobody is reading what I am writing, why should I write the stories?
What a joke that is!
I had to laugh last week, I do find somethings ironically amusing, I got banned by LinkedIn for some reason.
The beauty of the irony is that I rarely use the site as the most it did for me was to get me involved in online arguments LOL.
Along with Google, Twitter, and Facebook I never use the site.
The only sites I use are this blog and my channel on Disqus.
Some people would say by having so few online connections I am cutting my opportunities to sell my books, I counter that with the fact with countless "followers" on Twitter I have fewer than a dozen a blog contacts from Twitter a month.
Writing for TV.
People often complain about the standard of writing for TV shows, but how many of you have tried writing a series?
I have one series disqus.com/home/channel/indieworld/topics/the-word/ of many on my site ongoing, and I can tell you it's hard going to keep the flow.
Of course, they have advantages over me - they have a team of writers who get paid to write, but it makes no difference as a writer because you need to come up with an entertaining story.
Two months later.
It is almost two months since my accident, and there is no sign my left knee is getting better; if anything, as the days, pass my knee feels worse.
At the moment, I can stand for about 30 mins before I need to sit down for over an hour.
I don't like to live off people's charity, we had a Christmas like that several years ago, but with the recent income cut I had, there is little option left for me.
I'm wondering how long before I will NEED the wheelchair?
The physio and the exercises is doing some good, but my legs are getting weaker faster than the exercises are keeping me walking.
Over the years I wondered if I got sent on a course because my Sargent, and the station Chaplain could see something in me that I missed. I've always been a good listener and I can empathize well with people in distress.
Since 2006, the UK/USA outlook is being a non-combat role, the Chaplain should remain unarmed even in a combat zone; the other NATO countries leave it a personal choice.
If I was a Chaplain in a combat zone I'd make certain I had a gun to defend myself.
The irony is they are not barred from gaining marksmanship badges in firearms.
Read the story of one man who changed from a life of war to being a man of God (Why me, Lord?), and another man found the Lord at a time of personal confusion (God Walks these dark hills) - www.alsdominion.co.uk/home/what-is-my-motivation