I had a few good months years ago.
In eleven years as a writer, I can count the months I earned more than $1 a week, on the one hand, that is how much of a struggle it has been to make a crust.
What makes matters worse is the preponderance of sites that pirate ebooks and send them out free, would you work for so little? Yet, you expect me to provide a free service.
This will be my last blog post as I no longer wish to provide readers with items to read, as I feel my work has no value.
I can't list the many reasons for not writing, but I can tell you that is is not for a shortage of ideas to write.
Ten years of writing for free.
Again, and for the last time, the readers are the winners as I have made so little in the last two years trying to sell my e-books it is no loss to me to put them out for free.
From the end of the month, all my work on Draft2Digital is going to be free, what will I lose - 40 cents a month in sales.
This is not a sudden impulse, I have been considering this line of action for years as nobody is buying my e-books I see no reason to go on wriitng, even though I had many ideas for short stories.
I'm not worried.
I thought when I stopped writing a few months ago, sitting among my collection of books would be a painful reminder of my failure as an author, but the reality is it has made no difference to how I view the books; I still enjoy going to bookstores and browsing.
The nonchalance could either be put down to the fact I never thought I'd succeed or that I accepted I failed long before I stopped writing; either way, I am enjoying using my time to catch up on my DVD viewing.
A fair comparison.
If you have been following my blog, you will know that I have a liking for foreign TV series such as The Legacy,Wallander, and Inspector Montalbano to name a few.
Also, you will recall I have no favorite country as I watch shows from as far away as Iceland, Israel, and Finland and as near as France, Scotland and Wales.
This week I bought the earlier editions of the Swedish series - Annika Bengtzon - because I wanted to compare it with the two later films I have with Helena Bergstrom in.
The comparison will be based on the acting and will not be influenced by liking for older ladies.
If I were to compare actress based on my sexual preferences, there are some I would class as equal to Ms. Bergstom both in Europe and the UK.
To find help
Was it accidental?
I no more think the Notre Dame is an accidental fire than I believe the bombing of Coventry in World War 2 was an accident by a lost pilot.
This belief isn't Islamaphobia; I base my view on what is happening in Europe since Angela Merkel invited the Muslims to invade three years ago, and what happened two years ago when Israel got set on fire, and the Muslim world rejoiced.
You need to consider that the church has stood through over 850 years of European history including two world wars, the student riots of the 1970s, and all that the Lord can throw at her, and now when the Muslims have turned a beautiful city into a sewer, she lies in ruins.
Three years ago, I got paid $20 by an American friend to write about what is happening in Europe as they don't know the first thing about how Muslims are destroying our cultures.
I included articles from Sweden, Norway, Germany, UK, Holland, and Span in my 20-page story.
Norway told Sweden that if they couldn't control the Muslims that the borders would get closed, as they are now in Europe, you cannot get across Europe with documentation now.
Finland has some many Muslims that they have had to implement a policy of sending them back thousands at a time.
The once charming city of Stockholm is no a no-go area for tourists, and the emergency services are afraid to enter the inner city for fear of being attacked. The city has become the rape capital of the west since Muslims went there a decade ago.
Paris has become so filthy in the last year that the French avoid the city because the streets are like an open sewer.
As it was when Israel was on fire, the online Muslim community is rejoicing in the pain that the civilized world feels for the church of Notre Dame.
Without the religious implication, I feel it is a great sadness that all the beautiful stained glass and the artistry that went into building the church is lost, many of the trades used to construct such treasures are gone in a world that thrives on the here and now.
I am not surprised at the reaction; after all, ISIS destroyed Baghdad Museum three years ago, and they videoed themselves so their followers could revel in the destruction of beautiful artifacts.
I wonder how long my article would be today if I were to write about all that is going on in Europe?
A dependence on others.
While Germany holds the UK at bay over Brexit, they should remember that for the last century the country is indebted to the USA and the UK for its economic survival.
After World War 1, Germany was in tatters, and without the US Lend Lease project they would never have recovered; despite the conditions of the Treaty of Versailles banning them for building warships, they disregarded this proviso and built an Imperial Navy.
After the end of World War 2, it was again American money in the guise of the Marshall Plan that stopped the Russians from taking over Germany. The many critics of US Foreign Police forget that they saved many countries from becoming Communist, and lost thousands of young men in doing it when if they'd followed the policy of Woodrow Wilson they could have stayed out of the conflicts.
Now they hold the UK at knifepoint over Brexit, even though without the money from the UK, Germany would be in such an economic mess after decades of bad decisions that the country would not recover.
Going it alone is hard.
Being an Indie Writer for some people has brought rewards, that is because they have money to fund their publishing dreams; for me, it has been nothing but an endless struggle against unbeatable odds of having no funds and that does not count the times my writing has been criticized.
There are many articles online on the theme of "The Indie who made it," but the one question that does not get asked is "Do you think your outlay is worth the gains?"
There is no need to go into figures, only a generalization of the outlay Vs the income would suffice.
Did I enjoy writing?
In the beginning, I did enjoy writing my stories, but for the last four years, my faith has been tested beyond the straining point each week there are no sales. I kept hoping for a revival, but it never came.
The Ups of being an Indie Author.
I could choose what I wanted to write and when I would write, I had total control over my product; this was one reason I'd never change as I knew good authors whose books were spoiled by either lousy covers or bad publicity costs that made the books unsellable.
There are too many down to even consider listing; the hardest is that being Independent I had to foot all the costs which limited what I could afford to do. This situation came to a head in 2018 when I made the costly error of paying for a book cover, and this outlay is something I shall never recoup as the book has not sold in over on sale at Amazon.
I would only recommend writing as an income if you have a well-paid job or a significant inheritance and you have the skin of a T-Rex as I can guarantee from my experience there is no solidarity in the ranks of the writing community. It is dog eat dog, the best way many see of progressing is to put you down rather than pull themselves up from the bottom.
My view was for many years if one succeeds we all succeed that is why I used to help others at a cost to myself, I said used to because I got tired of not being thanked for my efforts, all I needed would have been a quick email or comment of thanks, but it never happened.
My load is spread by T-Mobile
The wireless company that is my largest distributor of Twitter tweets is T-Mobile, followed by O2.
More reading and less writing
From tomorrow, I won't be writing any stories this choice has been made with sadness, but as nobody buys my e-books www.draft2digital.com/book/ what is the point in continuing a struggle that has gone on for over a decade www.amazon.com/-/e/B007U50BOI?
The ending of my writing is going to give me more time for reading www.alsdominion.co.uk/home/c-s-lewis5410993 and watching my store of DVDs www.alsdominion.co.uk/home/the-race-is-on, www.alsdominion.co.uk/the-reading-room/my-life-as-a-virtual-tourist, www.alsdominion.co.uk/home/a-virtual-tourist, www.alsdominion.co.uk/the-reading-room/a-change-that-is-not-for-the-better, www.alsdominion.co.uk/home/seo-nordic-noir, and www.alsdominion.co.uk/the-reading-room/nordic-tv.
I will miss writing as it was a dream from my schooldays to be a writer, but the truth of the matter is I can't afford the costs of publication, and no publisher wants what I write as I don't write about zombies or sex, so my unfinished stories www.alsdominion.co.uk/home/alan-places-unwritten-stories will remain unfinished.
Now I have stopped chasing my rainbow I can get some peace of mind www.alsdominion.co.uk/the-reading-room/peace-of-mind.