Fighting the odds
On a German writing site that I was on for several months, I earned the reputation by some of the people of being like Don Quixote because the saw me tackling the site's favorites on a regular basis even if I knew I was fighting a losing battle.
I never saw myself as that way; I felt the need to fight inequality and if that meant I stood alone against greater odds than so be it; I did win some small battles and gained friends even if the mighty won the war.
Other people have said that in my writing the can read a likeness to the typical Byronic hero en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Byronic_hero. Again, this could be true.
Fighting a losing battle.
Is Grace greater than sin?
A good question to ask me after ten years as a writer/promoter. Over the decade I helped writers get sales boosts for their books and contracts.
In the end, what did I get? Nothing.
I lost a writing contest because someone else cheated, they got a contract and again I got nothing. I was always gracious in losing but after a decade of fighting against the odds I give up.
I did the righteous thing and I paid the price for my honesty; I can't help wondering what would have happened if I'd been willing to cheat like others did to get the "win at any cost."
I can't recall who said it, but it's a truism if there ever is one Good guys never win. After losing out to people who cheated, in my opinion winning is it's own reward, after all who recalls the second place contestant?
And being graceful only got me derision- www.alsdominion.co.uk/home/i-was-despised - if I didn't get despised for winning I was despised for being more popular.
King Canute could not turn the tide, neither could I fight against people with money to promote books.
The Twilight Zone.
A stream of consciousness is a writing term used to describe a writer who starts a story with no more than an idea and lets his/ her thoughts dictate what happens - as I usually do.
Today is one such day.
I woke today feeling ill, and as I have had a feeling of being sick several times in the last month I wondered if I had blood poisoning?
My next thought was would I wish to be put on a dialysis machine if we could get a charity to help pay the costs?
In my teens, if the situation had arisen, I would have said yes, as I would have done over the last 30 years of marriage, however, now at 62 I don't think I'd wish to be kept alive by a machine.
It isn't anything religious I have against the idea; but I feel my life has run its course and if the Lord has decided my time has come to go, who am I to contest the concept?
My final line in this run of thought was I would not wish to be put into cryostasis, even if I could afford the process; the system may work for someone with no friends or relatives, but the thought of returning to a world I am not meant to be in appears wrong to me. This line of thinking took me to the Twilight Zone episode called "The Rip Van Winkle Caper."
The story is about four thieves who pull off a multi-million dollar heist and decide to hide out in the desert for 100 years in pods until the gold they stole is no longer "hot."
Flash forward 100 years to the group waking up, one died when his pod got broken, and the other three fought over the gold until only one man was alive; dying of thirst, he offered his last bar of gold to a man in a car to get him to a city, but he died before the man could tell him the gold had no value as 100 years on it was being manufactured.
Who can say what will have value in the future? After all, the Native Americans had gold for centuries but rarely used it as it could not be made into tools as it is so flexible.
I never mention this award I earned in a Facebook writing contest in 2012 because I would prefer to forget the contest, as it was rigged and hacked.
The person who had the first two stories in this section had a friend delete my stories to stop me beating her in an open contest, and showing her that I am a better writer than she was at the time, her other claim to "fame" was made by copying a story from a friend of mine and passing it off as hers.
2012 ws a bad year for me, it was the beginning of a struggle to regain my rep as a writer, a struggle that to this day is ongoing. This is one of many cases I have been involved in where I wonder if Grace is greater than sin - www.alsdominion.co.uk/the-reading-room/is-grace-greater-than-sin?
I must be one the few if not the only person, who doesn't boast about being an award winner, but the reality of the matter is that neither award made my book sales improve.
What Nostradamus predicted.
During the last US election run-in, there was great concern that one of the prophecies of Nostradamus would come true.
He is said to have predicted that one day three ladies would be in power, and this would bring out worldwide devastation.
It is true that if Hilary Clinton had won she would have caused the Third World War; like here predecessor - Barrak Obama - she was bent on the destruction of Israel. With Angela Merkel allowing the Muslim invasion - yes, invasion - of Europe this would have caused the collapse of Western civilization as we know it. As for Theresa May, she would have become what she shows herself to be, no more than a German pawn in the UK.
The point of this post is that this is not the first time this has happened, those of us with memory can recall that in the 1980's three powerful ladies WERE running their countries; Margaret Thatcher (UK), Golda Meir (Israel), and Indira Gandhi (India).
Mrs. Thatcher was more formidable than Mrs. may could ever aspire to be.
In Octobers' issue of Premier Christianity magazine, there is an article of Hebrew words that we could use; I used several Yiddish phrases in the romance I based in Israel (Aliyah).
Aliyah is a term used to describe a return to your homeland, with the horrifying rise of anti-Semitism in the UK/France there has been a considerable increase in the number of Jewish people seeking an Aliyah to Israel in the last four years.
I undertook my Aliyah (return to my homeland) eight years ago, not to Israel, though I always wished I'd had the opportunity to visit the state, but to Yorkshire.
The Hebrew term is the same as saying "cheers," why not use it as many people use the Danish term "Skol."
In the words of my character, Kim Altland "Zevel ich zevel" (rubbish is rubbish). The book cost me a lot to produce as I decided to buy a cover, rather than use a free image, and basing the story in Israel caused animosity for me online.
I made another error, I aimed the story with an audience in mind as I had several Jewish contacts in Israel when I was writing the story.
I enjoy writing the romance, I am writing a sequel www.alsdominion.co.uk/the-reading-room/the-reunion. I had to alter this story slightly for geographical reasons, not the anyone outside Israel would know the difference; the alteration gives me an avenue to extend the story more. In over 18 months it sold only three copies; when you take in account it took as long to write and edit as it has been on sale, you can see why I call it a disaster.
I sent it to several publishers, the only positive reaction I got was from Vanity Press houses, meaning I'd have to pay for the publication and do the promotion work while they took my money for doing as little as they could to help the sales.
When I finish the sequel I will add this to the original and I am considering sending it to the publishers used for books by www.eden.co.uk/, after all, I have nothing left to lose and I may win a publisher over with my romance story.
Update, the story I am thinking of sending to Eden is going to be www.alsdominion.co.uk/the-reading-room/god-walks-these-dark-hills as it is not based in any county, and can be viewed as only Christian fiction.
I am not a Tony Blair supporter.
Before you get the WRONG impression - I am NOT a Tony Blair supporter - but he did do me a favor when he became PM.
Bristol has always been a Labour party stronghold, and toward the end of my term at the museum it was obvious I'd never see a promotion (hell, I knew that for several years); the reason being I was neither a snitch, an ex-cop or a FREEMASON, and that is how you got promoted.
Another reason for me thinking I'd never be promoted is the bosses knew that I would not cover a crime up, as happened in my e-book www.amazon.com/dp/B008BK1WDK and that was a worry for them.
For the last eight years of my term I knew I had no promotion hopes, so when I was made redundant for medical reasons it saved me from being sacked for arguing with my bosses; I won't say "superiors" as I - along with many others - had no respect for the bosses in the end.
Though we never proved it, the suicide of a close friend was caused by pressure from the bosses (Freemasons) because he was a Unionist who fought for the workers; though I was not as militant as my friend, Richard, they knew I was of a similar mind.
Don't set the bar too high.
My sense of contentment with writing has come from a changing perspective about viewing the goal, until two years ago, sales were my goal. In the last two years, I changed my views to getting readers for my blog as that is what matters, sales are the only way I had to evaluate my worth as a writer.
I realize having a blog is no real sign of popularity as a writer, but with a growing readership of over 200 readers a day reading over 1,000 posts; I must be doing something worthwhile.
My latest adaption is to disregard my code of morals, and write from the dark side of my nature that has few restrictions, that is why until now I kept it out of sight, but everything has its day, and perhaps now is the time for my dark side www.alsdominion.co.uk/the-reading-room/the-dark to emerge.
Last year taught me one thing above all else - www.alsdominion.co.uk/home/my-2019-expectations - do not hope for anything and you won't feel unhappy. It is early but this year has lived beyond my meager expectations - www.alsdominion.co.uk/home/my-next-amazon-bestseller?